this weekend was very very nice...we got to see big nana and khaleh Asmaa again, yesterday we had a big dinner party at the Shama'a...and today we enjoyed the big family dinner at my in laws...i had alot fun alhamdulilah...but i had to leave early to drop We'am to LAX then i returned...it was really nice seeing all the family working together..the air was full of love and happiness...having big nana and khaleh Asmaa around us is so nice... they are leaving tomorrow and im really really sad...i wish they can stay longer...khaleh Asmaa is so sweet, she had tears in her eyes when she kissed zaido goodbey...she is such a sweet person...n i feel my heart aching..inshallah we can see them again and again...ammar is spending the night over there now n i really miss him alot.

on the way back, my brother and i were talking about how we should do some fun trips together..and we ended up talking about how spouses should do that more often;) and i just couldn't stop thinking about this!! ever since i was a little girl..i was always the one with the crazy thoughts...i used to have pictures of babys and horses inside my closet lol and i used to tell my family and my friends that i will never got married and that my plan is to adopt a kid from Bosnia and raise him!! i remembr when i got engaged all my friends called me and told me im such a lair=) i was actually the first one of my friends to get engaged and married! subhanallah!!

i thought that if i ever got married that this guy will be crazy like me. i imagined that i will get married to someone that will take me to a fun crazy places like scuba diving, horse back riding, biking, swimming... and subhanallah as i look at my husband now hheeheh he is nothing like that;) he is very quite guy who loves to read, loves being active in the community and teach the youth about islam and just very intellectual mashallah...wich is a very good thing alhamdulilah and im so proud of him..mashallah he is a man with a vision.

i think having my brother around is just reminding me of my old self again, i love my husband so much but i think that him being so active in the community and wrking around people older than him and having all those big issues and responsibilities in his mind is making him forgetting that he is only 28 years old!! when i tell people in the masjid that, nobody believes me cus he acts older than his age! which is good and sometimes not good for me. i miss this young spirit...the craziness...the fun...i remember exactly 4 years ago when i left to see dady in Irland for a month..when i came back my husband planned this surprise trip for me and it was unforgettable:) he rented this place in big bear, the same place we went for our honeymoon...exept that it was snowing this time:) we had so much fun...we did this sliding thing with those big wheels...i built snow man with big boobs lol i just remember myself with this free spirit ..we had fun like kids and i just wish we can do those things more often...to feel free again.....i really see myself now becoming more quite...i think im becoming like my husband..acting older than my age....and i really miss the crazy old me.

its nice having my brother around to remind me about me;) its really refreshing to see him loving to dress in nice clothes and caring so much about his looks lol...and loving buying different type of shoes :D heheh.....all my brothers and even my dad care about their looks n i love that in men. and subhanallah clothes and looks are the last thing in my husband's mind lol...i remember having a hard time when we first got married..i remember when we were in Jordan hubby was going to this meeting with some really not good clothes and i tried so hard to convince him not to go out like that but he left any way n i was shocked.....now he is better alhamdulilah but still clothes and looks are not very important to him! i just think that many girls think that they r gona marry someone little similar to their dad or brothers lol in Arabic we say ( kol fatat be abeeha mu3jabah ;) its just funny to remeber those things!

ahhhh, i love u hubby n i miss u so much...ughhh i hate to sleep by myself ....

i think my brain stopped functioning and i need to put myself to sleep.